Monday 13 September 2010

Two Bits

The Bathing Habits of My Ex-Wife

Some people like to shower before getting into a bath so that they don’t spend twenty minutes or half an hour steeping in their own dirt. Some prefer to do it the other way around – shower afterwards to get rid of any dirty residue. Many don’t bother with a shower at all. My wife, my ex-wife, likes to do both – a shower before and a shower after. The latter part of our marriage is like a lesson in platitudes and clichés – ‘We just stopped loving each other,’ ‘We kind of drifted apart,’ that sort of thing. She didn’t leave me as such.




Dress

I thought I was only a girl, but Father said, You are a woman now and you must go to work. With the care of a toymaker he dressed me in a black bra and black briefs and put an unlit cigarette in my mouth and made me stand in the window of his exclusive little clothes shop.

Today a man urinated up against the window. I am always learning new things. I am learning how to regulate my breathing so that I can keep almost perfectly still. Soon, maybe, I will be able to hold my breath indefinitely. Then perhaps Father will let me dress in a beautiful black dress and one of those fine black hats with a lace veil that flutters even when there is no wind.

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